Last
night I returned from a valley of nightmare.
First
I had felt as if I was trampling over the
Valley’s
thick grass-carpet. Soon heaps of bricks
And
relics of palatial buildings sharpened my
Sensibilities.
I
stood and glanced around.
I
felt was standing on an empty road of
A
cursed city.
I
shivered.
But
everything appeared so familiar !
Who brought me here ?
Have
I lost my way in night’s
Darkness
and walked into the vanished city of
Mahasthangarh
?
Crickets’
drone seared through my ear-drams
And
I trembled from cold and fear. Fire-flies
Touched
my hair, face and chest, softly like
Rain-drops.
I
wanted to run away but my feet wouldn’t
Move.
A
voice from within the gaping hole of a grave
In
front thundered and like one possessed I
Moved.
I reached nearer and it was no more
A
grave ; a row of stairs led through it toward
Earth’s
womb.
“Come.”
the voice commanded. I looked around
And
found none.
“Move,”
the order resounded and apprehensively
I
stepped on the stairs. My heart
Pounded
and darkness blunted my vision.
Still
I groped on, step by step. When I stopped,
Darkness
had given way to a kind of dimmed
Illumination.
None
ordered me to stop but from deep within
I
knew I should.
A
palace stood before me. I felt I was standing
At
the doorstep of an ancient palace of
Pundrabardhan.
I
felt I must enter it before dawn or I shall
Have
no hope left. I entered and closed door
Behind
me. Sinking my feet in thick costly
Carpet
I observed furniture. I was in ancient
Era
of wood-carving. Around were mahogany
Seats
with silk mattresses ; a huge wood-curving
On
the wall held city dancer Kamala reposed in
Avoi-Mudra
posture ; four stuffed deer-heads
Hanged
from wall’s other end.
Dead-deer
stared at me with Topaz-yellow eyes.
Whose
palace could it be, I wondered. Suddenly,
A
door opened slowly from inside, Palace’s king
And
queen appeared before me. As king ‘s whip
Whistled
past my ear, I shrank in fear.
“Don’t
hit him,” intervened queen asking
“Who’s
he” ?
“I
am one of the prisoners suspected of murder ;
Please
let me go away ! I shall never come
Again
: I begged.
A
frightening roar of laughter shook the palace.
That
great kings laughed and black
Buddha
sitting on mahogany-shelf turned blacker
And
I trembled with fear. The empress rescued
Me
instantly.
“Come
along with me,” she said and to escape
From
powerful emperor’s laughter and his demoniac
Whipping
I followed her, like a page
Boy
with trembling feet, lifting up her robe-trail.
Passing
many a room I was ordered to stop
In
a brightly lit one.
Raising
eyes I saw four princesses engrossed in
Tete-a
tete sitting on four gold thrones. Designs
Of
sarees they wore dazzled my eyes.
First
was attired in Jamdani , second in gold—
Embroidered
muslin, third’s soft body was
Wrapped
in fine, see through fabric while silver
Sequins
on fourth’s saree-hemline dazzled
in –
Candescent
white.
The
virgins had let their long pig tails hang
Over
their breasts like black snakes thrown over
Four
kinds of flames.
“Choose
your partner from them,” said the
Empress
like a guardian and I thought I should
Obey
her.
But
whom could I choose ? All appeared equally,
Beautiful
and my eyes failed to choose the best.
Motherly
queen smiled at me and said ,”Your
Eyes
are no good !”
“But
mother,” I interjected hurriedly, “I have
Other
sense too ! See my hands – they have
Touch-sense,
My nose has smell-sense and with
Tongue
I can lick. Let me choose using them !”
The
empress laughed and signaled me to go
Ahead.
I
touched first virgin’s cheek and I trembled.
I
saw a blood-red mole by her lips and I felt good.
I
put my hand on second virgin’s head and
Looked
at her face. A pearl –bud on her beautiful
Nose
looked more exotic than that mole-flower.
I
stood on like one possessed.
When
I touched thirds shoulders she smiled.
Her
water –chestnut-like teeth enticed my lips
To
kiss but I had to proceed to
the fourth.
I
held her hand and the teenaged princess shyly
Lowered
her face. With my other hand I lifted
Her
face when she closed her eyes.
A
pair of sea-gulls from those beautiful doe—
Eyes
flew over the sea of my passion. Touch—
Sense
stood as petrified as myself. I thought
Of
trying smell-sense and that that had to be my
Last
search. I had other senses too, but how
Long
could one keep an empress waiting !
To
smell I returned to first. As I lowered
My
face near her breasts, she unbuttoned her
Blouse
and fragrance of lemon-flower from afar
Seemed
to fill up my cerebral chamber. But
What
use could floral fragrance have for me ?
The
second have already opened two buttons
Before
I could reach her.
Sharp
sweet-smell of deer-navel shook my body.
But
I did not cross a valley for mere kasturi
Fragrance
!
All
three buttons around third’s breasts already
Open
when I reached her. I inhaled, full-breath,
Sinking
my nose between a pair of rounded
Conch-shells
! As if I was searching for goddess’
Face
on some altar through hoss-stick fumes.
Then,
like an insane, I knelt before the last one.
“Save
me, help me !” I begged.
The
lowered-head princess had shielded her
Breasts
with hands.
Swiftly
as I undid them she turned her face
And
eyes away.
That
was the first time I discovered shyness
In
a woman; shyness red like fire, like blood
In
motion.
Faint
salty fragrance from her two roses of
Flesh
blew like fresh wind over my desire and
I
felt as if I’d fall sleep at the foot of a
Salt-mountain.
I
look up at the empress.
“Mother”,
said I, “She’s the one I want !”
No
sooner had I finished my appeal the empress
And
other princesses disappeared through four
Doors
like distressed people.
‘’Where
shall we go,” I asked my chosen one,
Taking
her hand in mine.
“To
nuptial chamber,” whispered my bride.
Our
bed was laid on a huge Mhogany cot.
As
I undid the saree wrapped around her like
Turnings
of a river I heard that infernal laughter
Again.
With
the roar my wife fled away running.
An
invisible whip slashed at my skull and I lost
Consciousness.
And
unconsciousness meant return from an
Unconsummated
dream.
Poet,
Story Writer, Novelist and Writer of Children Literature. Poetry :
Loka-lokantora (1963), Kaler Kalas (1966), Sonali Kabin (1973), Mayabi Parda
Dule Otho (1976), Bakhtiyarer Ghora (1984). Story : Pankourir Rakta (1975),
Gandhabanik (1986), Novel : Dahuki (1992), Upamohadesh (1993), Purush Sundar
(1993), Children literature : Pakhir Kachhe Phooler Kachhe (1980). Awards :
Bangla Academy Award –1968, Joybangla Literary Award-1972, Humayun Kabir
Memorial Award : 1974.